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proof of life1/8/2024 howdy. i am currently making music again.
i haven't updated this site in a long time and i'm sorry about that but i'm ready to get back into this. quite a lot has happened since we last spoke hasn't it? ;) let's see. i was 19 living with my dad. i am now living of my own means, with a woman i love, working a job that we both live a modestly comfortable life from. i am much happier and have lived a little more. i can't believe the state the world is in just like you, but also i kinda can, but that's for later. my brain is fully formed now at 25 (the seat reclines backwards and forwards now). let's just get into it... after making millenia pink and bleech, my two latest releases, i took about a year off from making music until recently. i hadn't been making music much before then. i kinda shoved that album and EP out and then rode off into the metaphysical and metaphorical sunset figuratively. now, that wasn't the first time i had put out a release i had left alone for a while, because that's generally how i make music; i make something that's mostly complete and then suddenly would get tunnel vision for something entirely different, then later i return to the old thing and put it out. however, this was sudden–i didn't know what else to say, especially after more and more things in the world have happened. around this time i also got very busy with my first serious job. outside of music i like to do programming so i found some solace in the logic of all that when the world didn't make sense the more and more i watched. decadent decade was probably the last proper project i've done. i'm pretty happy with it and i feel like i said a lot of what i needed to say on it. then 2020 happened a little after it came out. a little before this was when i first started having the ideas for millenia pink and making demos. at first things were o.k. and i stayed stuck at home scared to go outside but had music to work on to distract me. 2020 then not only took its own toll on me, but also my music. my music didn't feel appropriate anymore. i fell into a depression about not having an interesting or unique perspective, and while i think this is good to humble yourself, it should be for you to be inspired to do better or try new things. if you're not careful, you can let this go too far and just sit there and do and say nothing about much of anything anymore when you used to feel comfortable doing so. and so, psychohippies was thrown together in mid 2020 because of these feelings. I made numb when i was drunk and angry, i don't think i would have been able to make it otherwise. but, decider was just some cheeky fun song i made while messing around and then it turned into a whole song (i think anyways). maybe i forced it to be a song so i could call the single "psycho hippies" (which is a phrase i heard in a weird halloween movie for kids) and get numb out? who knows. bleech on the other hand, i really did take time to work on, but it had been some time since i had worked on it when i released it just like millenia pink. this isn't good for someone like me who finds art to be kinda like therapy, where I get to let out my thoughts and opinions, things I find cool and interesting, and just trying to share good vibes with folks. i made the one off song in 2023 but nothing worth sharing, it never stuck and i'd often just stop and be like "um... whatever, uh... this sucks, never mind", cause I was just making whatever came to mind and nothing felt right. whenever i played chords, i heard nothing. i didn't feel anything anymore. after encouragement from people close to me, i felt like i had to do something about it. so over the last two weeks of holiday break i took, i started to write some music and i have something i'm chasing. an image. i look at this image, and i see you and everything. i feel a little crazy to be honest, but a good kind of crazy. :) i'm feeling pretty inspired (at least i think so), to make music again like i used to be. i hope next time i see u see me, you are seeing what i am seeing. ~thx 4 vibin!
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